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5 Signs It Isn’t Love

When a relationship comes our way, how do we know it’s love?

Navigating love and dating is tough. Luckily, your heart and soul are always trying to show you what you need. They communicate these messages through your instincts and gut feelings, which at times can be all too easily ignored— both accidentally and by choice.

It’s time to wake up and listen to what your soul has been trying to tell you. Is what you’re feeling real, or is it something else?

Here’s how to know if it’s love.  

 1. You’re infatuated with potential.

Love can make humans all sorts of blind. Especially when forcing things to work becomes an unconscious effort, despite the relationship never feeling right to begin with. The imagination is a powerful thing, and when we let it run wild with what could be, our heart falls in love with potential. Choose to be honest with yourself. Look at the relationship for exactly what it is.

2. The time you spend with them is draining.

Do you leave your partner feeling worse than you did before? Surrounding ourselves with people not meant for us drains our emotional and mental resources. Time spent with your perfect partner should replenish your soul. Being with the right person doesn’t feel like work. It feels like breathing.

A couple chats in a corner booth.

3. Your brain keeps dodging the red flags.

Red flags are warning signs designed to protect us from a broken heart. And we can be bad at recognizing them, even when they’re standing right in front of us. When the relationship presents itself truthfully­­— believe it the first time.

4. Close friends and family aren’t on board.

While it’s not wise to always care about the opinions of onlookers, asking those who love you most for a new perspective can bring you new clarity. It’s noteworthy if everyone in your life disagrees with your relationship. Their eyes can see things yours can’t. Get a fresh perspective. Ask them why. Listen.

5. You like them, but you don’t love them.

When you’re with the wrong person, things just don’t feel right. There’s no good way to explain this feeling, but you just know. And what’s more, there doesn’t have to be anything objectively wrong in the relationship for things to seem disconnected. You can have feelings of love for someone without being in love with them. There’s a difference. Learning to recognize these things will help protect your heart and the hearts of potential partners.

A couple chats over coffee.

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